Open fields

For those of you who are anything like me, when I first heard about the concept of "encountering the Lord through the imagination" it seemed quite dangerous.  I know for me, I was afraid of the counterfeit. I was afraid of what the power of the mind could create and the danger of creating a false reality. 

I never really let that door open between me and God; that is, until about 2 and a half years ago.  

I didn't let the door open until I found myself in a place of desperation.  I was desperate for more of the Lord, but didn't know how to get there.  Little did I know that my walls of religion, conditions, and self protection kept me from believing and experiencing what he had for me.  I remember the first time I ever let myself go there (into the imagination, fully believing God wanted to speak to me this way).  I was at a conference, and there was a session called "The Power of the Imagination." I listened to a woman talk about how God brought her through overcoming an eating disorder through seeking him in this way.  I then listened to her husband tell a story of how in the middle of worship at a conference one day, he closed his eyes and said "Holy Spirit, take me where you want me to go."  As he followed what he was seeing he ended up in a garden...though this was not just any garden...it was a garden full of body parts.  The Lord then looked at him before he could even ask why he was there, as the Lord picked up a left ear and placed it in this man's hands.  The Lord said, "there is someone in this conference I want to heal of deafness in their left ear.  I want you to go give them this new ear."  The man telling this story stressed that he was by no means a leader at the conference and did not know how to even go about telling the leadership.  Thankfully the Holy Spirit is the best leader there is and gave the main speaker a word of knowledge.

The main speaker got up on stage and sure enough he announced, "God wants to heal deafness tonight."

The man telling the story said he instantly watched an older lady stand up, whom had been deaf in her left ear for 60 years. The man said he could barely fit his hand through the crowd of people, but the moment he touched her ear she heard a loud pop. The woman's hearing was supernaturally restored. 

I remember hearing this story, and beginning to ball my eyes out.  I wanted so badly to hear from God like that, and I began to tell the Lord my desperate desire for it. 

As I could barely have time to process or cry, I heard the speaker say "Now its time to practice. We all can hear from God this way and I want you all to believe that before we walk out of here."

To give you a quick side note......on my way to this conference I told the Lord two things I wanted breakthrough from.  I wanted to come home believing I 100% hear from God, and I wanted to be free from double-mindedness.  I don't want to expand too much on double-mindedness because its not what this blog post is focused on, but I will say that I felt I sometimes had a switch I could turn off impulsively, and choose to do whatever I wanted for a day.

So back to the story...

The man prompted us to close our eyes and let our minds wander.  He then said "Now picture something being put into your hands, and yell out what you see."

"I see a beach ball" someone yelled.

"I see a hat." 

"I see (fill in the blank)." 

He took us through surface level prompts to begin building our faith, but it quickly led to things more in depth as he prompted us to practice picturing Jesus.  He challenged us to look at him face to face and begin dialoguing with him.  He encouraged us to practice awakening all our senses to where we actually were in our imagination.

This is about the part that it gets good for me.

I'm sitting there in my imagination in a field.  But it wasn't just any field, it was a field full of 20 feet tall sunflower trees.  It was the most magical thing I had ever experienced, and then....... I saw Jesus.  The first thing he did was give me a hug.  I didn't even know I needed it, but the second he touched me, I could feel it in my bones cutting straight to my core. 

I began to dialogue with him as we walked through the field.  I'll spare you all the little details of this moment, solely because some of this will remain just between me and Jesus =) but there was something that happened that I cannot keep quiet about.  Jesus kept looking at me saying "You will have no other lovers.  I will be your lover." 

The man leading the class prompted us to ask one more thing.  He said "Ask Jesus your life verse." 

As if it was already hard enough to believe all that was happening in my imagination was not just the power of my mind, it became extremely vulnerable to think about asking Jesus my life verse and hearing something that could potentially make zero sense ( i.e. hearing it wrong, therefore the temptation of negating the whole experience). 

But I did.

And he answered me wildly beyond my expectations.

I looked at Jesus in this field full of 20 feet sunflower trees and with every ounce of my being, I said "Jesus tell me my life verse."  Instantly I heard Matthew 6:24.

For those of you who don't remember, I'll remind you of two quick things.  Something I asked Jesus for was breakthrough with double mindedness.  As we were in the field he kept saying "You will have no other lovers, I will be your lover."

Then I looked up Matthew 6:24, and this is what it said........

"No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon." 

The second I read this I was on the floor crying.  He gave me a double whammy.  In one single moment, he was speaking to me about my genuine ability to hear from him, and at the same time cutting me free from double mindedness once and for all.

I will never forget this moment.  It was the day I learned I actually do hear from God, and I learned about a practical avenue to begin doing so. 

The place that he took me on that day has been a place I frequently return to.  Its a place that no one will ever fully comprehend, nor be able to experience with me. Its a place he tenderly speaks to me no matter my mess. He teaches me to dance before him.  Its a place where all my walls come down and I'm completely free from shame or the temptations of this world.  Its here I can be completely me.

And this is where this song was birthed from.  Singing of the place that I often return to, where I am limitless and the veil has been completely torn between me and Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

I pray this song will awaken a new realm with you and God.