A couple weeks ago I had a friend call something out in me I didn’t exactly know was there. She looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “Janae, you’re the most childlike person I know.”
It honestly threw me for a loop...
I couldn't quite figure out what she was referencing.
That night as I was driving home I began to ask the Lord what she meant (especially considering I find myself to be a bit “up-tight” and too mature for my age at times). It didn't take long before I felt the Lord illuminate what she was acknowledging. I felt Him say,
“Janae, you genuinely live your life like you have nothing to prove to Me —you just know that I love you because you are My daughter. And out of that revelation, you’re able to completely be yourself.”
It occurred in that moment that the childlikeness this girl was calling out in me (whether or not she knew it) had everything to do with my ability to live from a place of knowing I belong. And knowing I am wildly accepted and loved —not just by God but by others as well.
When I realized this, I found myself asking "how?" How is it that my life is so different than the majority of human beings who cannot shake the “I need to perform for love” mentality? What is it that influenced me to live from a deep conviction that I am loved simply because of who I am —not by what I do?
As these questions flooded my mind, my childhood experiences began to replay in my head.
Growing up I had a father who was fully convinced that I was the “coolest” girl in all the world (and he’d tell me just about every day). He would tell me I was awesome, beautiful, powerful, etc; so did my mother. My parents were unwavering in how they saw me —because I was THEIR daughter. I belonged to them. And they carried the full revelation that I was worthy of love no matter what I did or didn’t do. There were so many times that I disappointed them, or let them down with my rebellious behavior —but they loved me without conditions.
Their love was immovable.
They were fully certain about me...and they couldn’t have been convinced of otherwise.
Because their love was based upon my identity. Not my behavior.
As I recalled this seemly "too good to be true" kind of environment I grew up in, I began to get a bit emotional. Who am I that God would deal with me so favorably? I mean let's be honest here...it's not exactly everyday that a child is born into a family that is actually representing His love well.
In fact...it's rare!
Over the past few weeks I have realized that growing up in a family like this comes with a high responsibility. Though most people would think “you gotta go through the opposite and come out the other side” in order to teach this kind of stuff —I believe the Lord has told me quite the contrary.
Love and protection are much better teachers than trauma and neglect could ever be.
So out of the deep nurturing love that I have been raised in, I feel the high calling and responsiblity to teach people about what it is to be God's child; and learning to live from the conviction that we are loved without conditions! It's out of this deep revelation that God's children will finally break free from the "I need to perform for love" mentality, and actually start to be themselves.
You guys...God is wild about His children. He is fully convinced about who they ACTUALLY are, and He cannot be convinced of otherwise. They are worthy of love no matter what they've done. They are breathtakingly beautiful even when they fall short of the world's expectations of beauty. They are AWESOME. And have been created to do extravagant and Heavenly things on this earth.
You cannot escape it. You cannot sabotage it.
HE’s wild about you.
Point blank. The end. So be it.
I recorded this video for my work on childlikeness and decided it'd be sweet to share with everyone on my blog as well. Blessings =)