Out-Of-Control (and loving it)

Originally I set out to write two different blogs….

One, being the idea of finding peace when you feel “out of control.”  

Two, learning how to not be a victim to circumstance.  

It didn’t take long for me to recognize these two subjects are practically interchangeable.  And I’m sure it comes to no surprise to those of you who have read my blog posts over the past year, but unfortunately, I am currently learning these two lessons —HARD.  (And quite frankly, I’m kind of over it…but clearly God is not…so I’ll choose to keep digging for all the gold to be found in this season until He lifts it.)  

For those of you who are wired anything like me (and the majority of modern day society), we cannot stand the feeling of being “out of control;” so we’ve developed all these behaviors, whether conscious or subconscious, that help us cope when we feel this way.  Often when you look at the roots of most addictions (i.e. pornography, eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, nicotine, Netflix, shopping, etc..) the origins have absolutely nothing to do with the actual behavior.  It has everything to do with people experiencing chaos in their lives and as a result they develop specific behaviors to make them feel powerful again —whether they’re aware of it or not.  

Many people are left trying to overcome the symptoms—having absolutely no idea why they actually do what they do.   

I know for me, this reality has described a major portion of my life.  And though the behaviors fluctuated over the years, the core of the issue never did.  When I felt powerless, a victim to circumstance, and out-of-control, all bets were off the table.  I would go do whatever I felt. 

Eventually I would come to the Lord and find rest, but he was never my first option. 

(Clearly, that had/has to change in me…but it’s a lot easier said than done.  It’s a daily decision.)

My question for you is this:  What do you do when you feel out of control?  

How do you respond when your life feels in chaos?  

Your coping skills might not be a deliberate sin, but I can assure you if you’re not turning to God you’re turning to something….whether you realize it or not.  

Currently, every single area of my life feels completely out of my control.  I’ve written about this in more detail in previous blog posts (so I’ll save you all my complaints) but this is the first time in my life when fear has tempted me to agree with it.  And honestly, some days I do.  Some days I fail the test of my trust in the Lord.  Some days I shut down and decide to numb.

Thankfully, the Lord is too sweet to let me stay there.  He has made it pretty clear that this season is not going to end in my life until I find all the treasure He has for me, and pretty much all the treasure lies in this verse:  “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”  (Isaiah 26:3).  

God is teaching me a supernatural reality that very few humans ever access in their lifetime.  Far beyond what the doctors, and theories, and what humanity says —internal chaos, anxiousness, and worry do not have to exist within me.  I, in fact, can sleep in storms much like Jesus did.  When Jesus slept in a storm, He was giving us a prophetic picture of what a life of faith in God looked like.  

It looks like **perfect peace.  

It looks like a sound mind. 

It looks like joy beyond circumstance.  

What if we as believers actually began to access another realm?  That far beyond the diagnosis, relational pain, emotional pain, physical pain, or any other circumstance we face in this lifetime, we chose to curl up in the fortress of the Lord and NOT ever lose our peace again? 

King David is a beautiful example of this.  Though death surrounded him; though he spent many years running from a jealous man, and as a result armies were trying to kill him, David would constantly say, “I will lie asleep tonight in peace because my God is with me.”  

Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.”  

You guys, my encouragement for you is to fight.  Fight for peace.  Guard your joy.  And STAND your ground.  Running to God FIRST is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced.  

He is so faithful to meet you.  But you have to be willing to come, even in the midst of the discomfort, even in the midst of the waiting.  He will come I promise.  And He is so so worth it.

Now heres a few phrases I’ve been singing over and over in my morning times <3.